Thursday, October 13, 2016

The Groom And The Rotund Bull: Part 1

This is going to be a once in a lifetime celebration. Yes, it comes bet once –his wedding. After this, the rest would be anniversaries and all the glamour would have faded, at least a little.

Tunde had promised his bride to hunt for the best flock of cattle humanely possible, and present to her family specifically, “a fat and rotund one”. He laughed out to his proud self, forgetting the entire outside world around him. The driver jolted him out of his reverie, cutting him short with “Oga you are really happy o, and I am happy for you”.

Tunde suddenly “boned face” feigning serious and stern look but he can’t helped it. Could he? He has got to relieve himself of those military stances because this week till weekend, he is the groom
marrying that sweet and beautiful Chinyere. He fondly call her Chi-chi. He managed to muster the pet name again by angling the upper left corner of his mouth up, like smirking someone, trying  to mimick how Jennifer of Jenifa’s Diary, that popular Nigeria soap opera, would have called it. He tried , then he reasoned “That Jenny baby local ehn…but she has a way of making my lady laugh, that’s what matters and I love them both”.
Still in his reveries “Did I just say I love the both? No, how could I love another person with Chi-chi?” he stressed, “I mean I love Chi-chi, but I-like-Jenifer. For making her smile? Whatever.”

By this time the posh car is stretching across the cattle ranch where he has come to do ample selections. It is going to be the talk of the town. He specifically wanted to be the cattle head bounty hunter for his very special would-be wife. The lorry to ferry the cows back to base arrived few minutes ahead of him. Uche and Bayo, Tunde’s in-law and cousin respectively have joined the lorry driver and were waiting.

See also: The Interview

Then the pointing and negotiation began. All along, Tunde was furtively searching for the unicorn among the herd, he would settle for less hunt for the special gift, no compromise. Will the merchant agree to sell if he chose the best of his best? No harm in trying his luck. They have negotiated for 9 heads already but the very one that matched his specification he desired was not among yet. Before that thought falters off he saw a gigantic beast rose from its crouch. It was a sight to beyond, had been lying down probably and escaped his notice. Without mincing words he pointed to the bull.

See Part II

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